How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
