i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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