I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
