You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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