i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
