I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
