i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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