i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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