yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
