hotel room ftw
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
