Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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