So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
