you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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