My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
