Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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