this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
