oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
