They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
