Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
