Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
