Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
