Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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