smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
