his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
