wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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