tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
