I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
