You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
