Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
