Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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