I met the friendliest cop last night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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