No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
