Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
