My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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