the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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