in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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