it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
