Slut skills are useful in every country.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
