Jerry, you need to find god
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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