Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
