You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
