sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you would pick up someone in the library
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
did you just send me my own nude
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
