I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
