just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
