so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
