They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
