its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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