I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize