Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
