her vagine was all disorganized.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
